The Story behind Donald Trump’s Lack of Back Pain

Donald Trump

As The Donald crisscrosses the country looking to secure votes in upcoming presidential caucuses and primaries, he is constantly on the go. Campaign appearances, media interviews, and unfamiliar hotel beds can wear on anyone. So why isn’t he in crippling back pain from all the wear and tear?

The wealthy real estate mogul appears to be immune to the troubles that others with such an exhausting schedule would experience, especially at 69 years old.

When you think about it though, it’s really not a surprise. Trump has a few advantages that the rest of us can hardly imagine. How is it that the Donald doesn’t have the sore muscles, tension, sore lower back, and stiff walk that so many of the rest of us turn to a skilled chiropractor to fix? Let us count the ways.

His Own (Private) Jet Plane

When Trump travels, he’s not schlepping to the airport in an uncomfortable taxicab or standing in a long security line. He isn’t lugging that oversized carry-on bag while waiting in line for an overpriced cup of coffee, sitting in those uncomfortable plastic chairs at the gate, hoisting that carry-on into a crowded overhead bin, and sitting in a cramped middle seat, hoping the stewardess gets him a small cup of ice water and a bag of peanuts. Oh, no!

To the contrary, Trump has a fleet of private jets at his disposal. He’s whisked from event to event in a limo or other chauffeured car to a private-aircraft hangar or terminal. Someone else deals with his luggage and that stewardess (or on-board chef?) has already prepared a meal that Trump himself asked for. Comfy seats with legroom for miles lets him travel in style.

If the Shoe Fits…

Trump isn’t dealing with some off-the-shelf shoe. His footwear is all high-end designer product, perhaps even made to his own specifications. His toes, arches, and heels are in shoes that limit the strain on his back, even if he’s speaking to crowds for hours.

Lapping It Up

When he gets home, or to one of the many golf courses, resorts, hotels or condos he owns, Trump can kick back in style. Need a Jacuzzi, dip in a pool, or get a masseuse – whichever the case, it’s not a problem. He undoubtedly has someone at his beck and call wherever he goes and whenever he wants.

He Works At It

Mr. Trump takes care of himself. He’s fit and has always appeared to be in good shape. No doubt he has personal trainers and chefs to keep him in good shape. As the former owner of a sports franchise and beauty pageants, he’s got access to some of the best professionals in fitness, health, and appearance. It is, however, a good thing that bad hairpieces don’t cause back pain or he’d be in utter, abject, excruciating agony. (Full disclosure: The Donald claims it’s his real hair.)

When All Else Fails…You’re Fired!

Trump has fired hundreds, no–perhaps even thousands of people, both in real life and on TV. If his back hurts, and it’s the fault of a pilot who hit turbulence, a luggage handler who misplaced Ivanka’s baby pictures, a pool attendant who didn’t have the water temperature just right, or…you get the picture; those two magic words –you’re fired– are likely to fix the problem…fast!

All kidding aside, Mr. Trump is in great shape and has no back pain because he takes care of himself. His hard work and success have afforded him the ability to live the lifestyle he does. If his back is hurting, it certainly doesn’t show!

 

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